How To Conquer Fear

I was afraid.

I’d rehearsed my talk ten times in the last week. But it didn’t matter.

I was still scared I was going to screw it up.

“What if the laptop doesn’t work?”
“What if no one shows up?”
“What if no one likes me?”
“What if I forget what to say?”

I stuck my laptop in my bag and walked toward the stage. My throat was dry, I was vibrating with fear. Someone said “You’re all set, go for it.”

I cleared my throat, put my hands on the podium and  lowered my head down towards the microphone. I said “Hey everybody, my name is Malan Da…

Instantaneously all fear was gone.
In it’s place was absolute euphoria.

I felt like the king of the world. All eyes were on me. They laughed at every joke, I didn’t miss a beat. No one walked out. When it was over, I didn’t want to leave the stage.

Later – people would tell me that I was one of the best public speakers they had ever seen or heard in their lives.

I wanted to do it again as soon as possible.

True Story

What you just read was my personal experience during my first public speaking event last year at the Hard Rock Hotel in San Diego.

It’s one of many times that I have been gripped with fear, walked through the fear and then… the fear just disappeared.

The truth is: Fear is made of mist, it disappears the moment you walk through it

We all deal with fear on a daily basis. It’s a part of almost everything that we do – and more importantly it’s a part of absolutely everything that we DON’T do.

Most human beings are not living to their full potential because they are so afraid of what might happen if they try.

This includes you.

The History of Fear

I’m sure fear was a pretty useful survival tool for our ancestors. If a caveman was confronted with something new – it was probably a rival tribe member who wanted to rip his arms off and feed his brains to the children in his village. And if the caveman didn’t run for his life, he’d be dead pretty quick.

But these days, the world isn’t such a dangerous place.

Don’t get me wrong. If someone pulls a gun on you and you feel fear, you shouldn’t ignore it, because you’ll probably die. In violent situations – fear still means RUN.

But for everything else in your life, fear mostly just gets in the way of you doing all the stuff you really want to do.

fears-are-stories

Common Fears

Here are a few of the things that go through your mind when you’re scared. These are the kinds of ridiculous thoughts, most of them totally untrue that stop you from trying anything new.

  • What if I fail? Fear of failure is the number one road block you deal with. The possibility of failure stops most people from ever taking the first step.
  • What if if I succeed? Success is also terrifying. What happen if your idea actually works? Will you mess it up?
  • What if I get rejected? There is nothing in the world that hurts like rejection. We fear it so much we often won’t enter any situation where rejection is a possibility.

Common Scenarios

This stuff happens all the time. Here are a few examples of situations where fear can hold you back.

  1. Socializing. Many people are scared of social situations, I’m not a big fan of them myself. But the scariest part is thinking about what might happen. The reality is the horrible things you imagine rarely ever happen. More often, everything turns out fine and you have a really good time.
  2. Public Speaking. The scariest part of public speaking is the buildup, the thought of what could go wrong. Most people stop there. The truth is, the moment you start speaking, the fear goes away.
  3. Affiliate Marketing. The fear of losing money stops most people from trying affiliate marketings. The truth is when you launch a campaign you realize that you’re in control and if things are looking bad you just press “Pause” and try again later. No big deal.
  4. Going To The Gym. People that aren’t in shape think they’ll look foolish at a gym. The truth is that no one in the gym is paying attention to you – everyone is too busy looking at themselves in the mirror or worrying about what you’re thinking of THEM.
  5. Music / Art. For a musician or artist fear of failure or not being accepted can be debilitating. Think of all the amazing songs, books and works of art that never get shared with the world because the creator is afraid of what people might think.

“Fear is the most subtle and destructive of all human diseases”

How To Conquer Fear and Become A Super Human

I once heard someone say that “fear is an indicator for growth”. In other words, when you feel fear coming over you, it means that change is about to happen. And most of the time change is good. So fear is good.

Stick with me here.

If fear is an indicator that change and growth are about to happen, why don’t you take advantage of that?

Instead of being paralyzed by fear, use it as a signal to take immediate action and make a breakthrough?

That way fear stops being scary and becomes a welcome doorway to massive change in your life.

Sounds pretty cool right? The best news is it’s really not that hard to do.

Here’s what to do the next time you’re feeling afraid.

  1. Notice and acknowledge that the fear is present.
  2. Realize fear is an indicator that a breakthrough is about to happen
  3. Immediately do the thing you’re afraid of

What you’ll find is this: the moment you walk through the fear – it disappears.

And if fear is no longer an obstacle there’s nothing to stop you from doing all the things you were afraid of. You can stand up for yourself. You can talk to new people. You can ask for help when you need it. You can ask for more when you deserve it.

Remember, most people do not walk through fear on a regular basis. Fear makes them freeze up. So if you can do it….

You become a SUPER HUMAN.

And all you have to do is change one thing.

Change the way you react to fear.

fear-itself

Conclusion

Most of us are living in fear. When we feel it, we stop dead in our tracks. A long time ago this reaction to fear probably kept us alive. But these days, it simply stops us from doing the things we really want to do.

So use fear as an indicator that growth is about to happen – and growth is good. The next time you feel fear taking over your body, act quickly. Walk straight through fear’s barrier and grab whatever is waiting on the other side.

Repeat it to yourself over and over again:  Fear is made of mist, it disappears the moment you walk through it.

Today’s Question:

What is something you are afraid to do? Be honest – there is something that just popped into your mind.

Have some balls and name your fear in the comments below.

And if you want to feel really fearless today, watch this video:

 

  • http://malandarras.com/ Malan Darras

    I’ll start: I am scared to start playing music again because I’m worried I won’t be as good as people think I should be. So I just don’t play at all. It’s stupid and unrealistic, but that’s my fear.

    • pete

      Well if you playing on the Cordoba (on Youtube) is anything to go by, this fear is clearly without any basis.
      Start playing now and smash that fear to smithereens!

    • Amanda Hope

      I am afraid of making music for the same reason you are…however, after 20 years of being a teacher/librarian, I am going to teach music next year. I am beyond excited to get back to my true love, yet I still am fearful that I won’t be good enough. It’s ridiculous that I have waited so long to do what I love.

  • http://www.reidmoto.com Reid Yamamoto

    You blasted through that fear at that event at the Hard Rock and it was a great presentation. My fears are that my campaigns will stop working, my accounts will get banned, and that I won’t reach my potential as an affiliate marketer.

    • http://malandarras.com/ Malan Darras

      hey Reid. yeah that public speaking thing was a really big eye opener for me on how good things wait on the other side of fear. Since then I’ve been playing with it a lot.

      Thanks for sharing your fear. I think we all share that one.

  • http://wikimediamarketing.com Luis Barrios

    I am scared of not being able to dominate the affiliate marketing space.

    • http://malandarras.com/ Malan Darras

      good luck with that one Luis

  • http://www.mikemrk.com/ Mike MRK

    Great article, Mallan. I’ll be honest, approaching women scares the shit out of me.

    • http://malandarras.com/ Malan Darras

      Hey Mike – haha that’s a big one. I know a few big PUAs and they say it took them around 100 approaches before it wasn’t scary anymore.

    • http://mediagenious.com Hakim

      Just say, I’m mike! I’m afraid! but i’m doing it anyways! 🙂 walk up & say hi, it’s a Low risk High reward situation, go for it 😀

  • Uroš Majcenovic

    I’m scared you’ll stop writing articles like this.

    • http://malandarras.com/ Malan Darras

      i see what you did there.

  • Hacker Income

    Yo Malan. Super impressed with your work recently. I’m afraid that I wont achieve financial freedom. Now I’ve read this I’m double excited!

    • http://malandarras.com/ Malan Darras

      thanks man!

  • cs

    I’m terrified of going broke. I’m scared the rug is going to be pulled out from under me and I won’t have enough money for…whatever it is. I’m scared I won’t be able to provide for my family and letting them down. I’m also scared of living an average plain boring life. I spend far too much time indulging these fears and planning out “what if” scenarios in my head…who I may be able to lean on if shit hits the fan, how hard it’s going to be to ask my grandparents for rent money or money to feed my kids. I’m not in a financially stable position right now and I envy my former self that had a steady, yet small salary and lived in a situation which at the time I thought was unacceptable. I find myself envying people with corporate jobs that I would otherwise condemn as soul sucking because they have stability and some predictability. It drains my mind and my energy every single day. It impacts my performance and my ability to make decisions. It robs me of my health and presence. I find myself around loved ones off in thought with nightmares about what might happen. It sucks.

    • http://malandarras.com/ Malan Darras

      thanks cs

  • Maria Miel

    I fear: be myself completely and succeed, but losing on the road to the people I care about and losing the person I love.

    • http://malandarras.com/ Malan Darras

      Thank you for sharing Maria – takes guts!